Being the only one like myself I gave into the temptation of not just assimilating to the new culture but blending in. I wanted to become just like them, to be accepted. In fact, I took great care to learn the language, diet, wardrobe, preferences, familial expectations, gestures, songs, religious adaptations, and tribal variances of the culture because I didn't know who I was. My attempt to blend in sat on a foundation of rejection. At a very early age I felt rejected, unloved, and secondary. In addition to sexual abuse a replay of messages like "You would be so pretty if you just" I allowed to replay in my mind. No matter what I did or didn't do I just never felt accepted by the people I loved.
In not taking great care to know who I was, I ended up giving up something that was of great value, being who I was created to be. Being who I am created to be has lead me to touch the lives of a specific people group that everyone can't necessarily reach. Just as I would not be as effective to a people group that was meant for someone else to touch.
In Matthew chapter 9 Jesus is asked by John's disciples why don't your disciples fast #like #we #do and the religious leaders (Pharisees)? Here the scripture names three #different people groups. These people were having different experiences and were at different levels in religious experience. Jesus responded to the question by saying that His disciples were in a celebration experience but when their experience changed so would there actions.
Today, I have embraced my style, likes, dislikes, abilities, fears, beauty, and metamorphic ability. I believe a multifaceted God will use all of these to help me win some to Himself.
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